I spent an evening with my friend Karen the other day who is in the final stages of cancer. She confessed to me that she is not fighting it this time. The cancer is winning and she knows she’s fighting a losing battle. She told me she is ready to go home to heaven.
How does one decide that now is the time to die? What an incredibly difficult decision for one who had so much more they wanted to do and see. Karen had really looked forward to a full and exciting retirement. She wanted to travel and do more things with her friends. We were both excited that my days off and hers would finally match up so we could get together more often and talk.
Before she retired and she got the weekend off and my weekend wasn’t filled with my kid’s activities we would get together at my house. Sometime she would bring food out, sometimes I would cook. I’d mix up a pitcher of iced tea and we’d sit on the deck in my swing and talk all afternoon. We never ran out of things to say. She’s a great listener and has always been a great support to me when I went through a few trials in my life.
Unfortunately retirement didn’t go the way it was planned. A few short months before retirement she had a major heart attack that left only 20% of her heart and the cancer took over after that. Now instead of planning trips, she’s planning her funeral…and deciding that she is ready to die.
I selfishly want to beg her to hold on. She might be ready to go, but I am not ready to lose her. Yet I know the decision is not mine to make. The decision is Karen’s and the Lord’s.